torsdag 8. mars 2012

Det året da julen varte helt til kvinnedagen!


Så var det mars gitt, og julenissene sitter pent i pappeskene på loftet uvitende om at det var KONGLENISSEN som gikk av med seieren i fjorårets nisseidol. For sånn er det med Emmeline; det som ikke blir gjort med en gang, blir veldig sjelden gjort i det hele tatt. Litt verre er det jo at bloggen dermed har blitt plassert i julepynteskene på loftet den også!


Daglig har Emmeline logget seg på nett, og sett med skrekk og gru på at jeg skal trekke en vinner av nisser og julepynt og veske og julesokk og ditten og datten. Det betyr at jeg må opp på loftet og finne igjen den store esken med alt som skal sendes. Så har jeg sukket tungt for meg selv og tenkt at det får jeg gjøre i morgen/til helgen/ i vinterferien/ i påskeferien/ når jeg blir seksogseksti.


Men i dag er det jo KVINNEDAGEN, og det betyr at kvinner skal fri seg fra alle slags selvpålagte oppgaver. Dette betyr at man kan gå uten bh/ slutte å bruke dokost på vegne av andre/ ikke gidde å gå på loftet for å finne den esken som en eller annen unge har plassert et eller annet sted. Dermed trekker jeg ikke noen vinnere akkurat i dag. Jeg bare gjør det jeg syns er aller gøyest -og det er å blogge uten forpliktelser. Trekningen kan jeg jo ta når hverdagen innhenter meg, og julen varer jo helt til påske- gjør den ikke?


Siden sist blogginnlegg har det i grunnen skjedd mye fint i Emmeline sitt liv. Det har også skjedd noen ikke så veldig fine ting! Den 21. februar, for eksempel, oppdaget Emmeline at Emmelinemannen kom drassende med en svær skinnstol opp trappene. I løpet av et sekund skjønte Emmeline at hun nå var på randen av skilsmisse – og skilsmisse er som kjent trasige saker.


Derfor la Emmeline seg med hele sin store kropp foran inngangsdøren, og nektet å åpne opp for katastrofestolen og dens tilhørende eier! Emmeline lå bokstavelig talt fastlåst innenfor døren mens hun ropte; du kan få komme inn-men den TINGEN skal ALDRI over min dørstokk.


I etterkant av denne opplevelsen har Emmelines eldste datter hatt mareritt om at Emmelinemannen kommer drassende hjem med flotte nye koner mens Emmeline lenker seg fast til veggene, og Emmelinebarna sloss så blodet flyter for å kvitte seg med alle de nye damene!


Som dere kanskje skjønner har det vært noen traumatiske uker hjemme hos oss. Skinnstolen står til spott og spe midt i stuen, og alle familiens kvinner nekter å sette seg i den. Emmelinemannens svigermor har vært på besøk og hun har lirt av seg noen solide gloser for å markere sin avsky mot den mest hatede stolen i manns minne. Emmelinemannen har vært på Facebook og hentet mental støtte fra sine tilhengere, slik at han liksom har ekstra ryggdekning i tillegg til den skinnbelagte han allerede har skaffet seg.


Det har rett og slett vært en prøvelse for både ekteskap så vel som den generelle estetikk i hjemmet -og til syvende og sist ligger Emmelinemannen stort sett i sofaen når han skal se tv. Dermed står stolen ubrukt til ergrelse for alle som har et naturlig talent for å ergre seg over slike ting!


Men Emmeline har selvfølgelig lagt en plan. I stillhet. Som hun ikke skal røpe for mye av. Stolfacistiske bakholdsangrep lønner seg sjelden i lengden. Spesielt for menn som snart skal til Liverpool for å se på løvekanalen live -og det skal jammen få være dagens visdomsord på kvinnedagen!!  Bilder er hentet fra både jul og vinterferie på hytten (*Det er tross alt mote med bærekraftig utvikling og da bruker man det som ligger på minnekortet!) GRATULERER MED DAGEN ALLE SAMMEN!! SEE U:)


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